Rambling and amblin' reflections | Ramblin' & Amblin' | Nov 1, 2026

okay so what is the point of all of these videos well the same time I'm recording in like experimenting with the audio I don't really know what I'm doing I'm just figuring this out as I go I sit down and I try to write out what I want to say and it feels like back pressure like so so much I want to talk about but it isn't all clear to me yet either where exactly I'm trying to go as you'd see like if you watch any of my videos here you see that I will be walking and I'll see a turn and I will take it oh yeah and sometimes I remember a path and I know that I like it now so I repeat it I look forward to it but I'm trying out a new camera recording setup here it doesn't have the timer on that I'm gonna fix that or it 's super tiny but uh I might I call this rambling and amblin' to uh try to take some pressure off so I can work out exactly what I 'm trying to to say here but um there's a amount of fear too oh nobody got their glasses they came through here a few days ago the glasses were here then they're here now huh it's a mystery now it's a new mystery fascinating that's all let me pass under here there's a fear that I have that people will actually watch us and be like Mike you're crazy uh so disorganized incoherent you ramble well it is called rambling and the camera's wobbly all over the place and you can't focus on your face I'm amblin' I'm I didn't say um cinematography uh absolute cinema or a uh narrative that's gonna be from my mainstream channel this is something I'm just using a dump what's in my chest especially now between things and then I think COVID and even before that remote work started to give enough time to think and realize how addicted to uh the regimen of work of of a factory life wake up at 6 15 get dressed get going maybe a cup of coffee uh sometimes grab it on the way um head out to the train get on the train hour and a half in sometimes usually 90 minutes so that was a weird noise eight nine hours five o'clock packed up so I gotta haul butt to the uh back to the train station to catch the uh to catch the uh express train home 90 minutes don't fall asleep on the train usually heads down project time get home around seven seven thirty best but uh being at home COVID opens uh time for thinking what do you do with that time now to date I'd mostly filled that time with work um I'd get on early and I would uh end up working 12 hour days and uh not working on my projects not working on ideas just uh working um trying to express some ideas the um the problem was it was a word was it in diction not to say workaholic but is that the word for it but it gave a meaning a purpose a structure an external um context that I could attach myself to and not have to really deal with what's in my head not that it's bad it's just a lot and uh I don't have a family with a deep um support system um so I do have a lot of people that depend on me to get my stuff together keep my head on straight so now just thinking about that makes it even worse and now the fear of what if somebody hears this and they judge me for this and they realize what a weirdo I actually am but the thing is is everybody that works with me figures it out pretty quick um I need to be the best weirdo that I can be not just for myself but for others but not a mask because I know I'm in there you know so many people in my life see I'm absolutely wonderful when I'm not stressed out when I'm stressed out when I'm in a rush when I've gotten what I feel like is a surprise I can be pretty unpleasant and that's not good that's where even the potential question of autism comes up definitely ADHD I do not like it but I'm caught off guard when I think I don't know I don't know but uh yeah these videos it's so pretentious it feels like almost as they're for everybody and nobody because I just put this out to the world and then I take it down and then I reflect on it did I say what I wanted to say how did I sound like when I said it it's complicated but uh don't get me wrong if you happen to watch this I don't know you make your own decisions alright thanks bye